The way I picture it, adulthood is a big, sleek jungle snake. It swallows you subtly, an inch at a time, so you barely notice the signs: you start reading the labels on things before you eat them; you find yourself listening to talk radio because the hit songs they play on the rock stations (can this really be you thinking this?) all begin to sound the same. Before you know it, your furniture is nice. And suddenly you realize that you'd rather sit around on your furniture and talk about the warning signs of colon cancer than, say, find out what happens when you set one of the milk jugs on fire. And if your kid sets a milk jug on fire, you yell at him "Somebody could get hurt!" and really mean it, from inside the snake.
by Dave Barry